MARCH MADNESS ALTERNATIVES

March 15, 2007  

I played varsity basketball in high school, and I rooted for my college basketball team. But after I went into the Army, my interest in the martial arts displaced my interest in basketball. To be honest, I was never a really big college or professional sports fan. Sure I watch the Super Bowl and I follow the Redskins when they’re 10 and 0, but not much else in the college or professional domain. 

Men are usually reluctant to admit they’re not sports fans. It’s just not manly. So, if you are looking for something else to watch that you can talk about with friends and coworkers when they bring up basketball this month that won’t cause them to question your manhood here are a fewd suggestions.

If you didn’t catch the first season of the HBO mini-series ROME, and you haven’t been watching the second season (only two episodes left), tune to HBO’s On-Demand and watch the series from the beginning. If you don’t have HBO, you can go online and purchase season one on DVD. Once you watch the first episode, you’ll be hooked. Don’t worry, season two will be out on DVD shortly.

There is nothing more macho than Julius Caesar crossing the Rubicon or Mark Antony seducing every woman he comes in contact with, Cleopatra included. So if someone at the office unfamiliar with the program asks you why you’re watching it, you can just tell them it’s for the sex and violence.

That aside, you’ll find one of best historical dramas ever put on television. Unlike the Ben Hur, Spartacus, and other great movies about Romans, ROME the HBO mini-series gives us an insight into Romans we’ve never had before in movies or on TV. It shows us how they thought and acted before Christian morality changed the world. It also strips away all the Hollywood glitz and glamour and shows everyday Roman life in all its grittiness.

If ROME doesn’t interest you, there’s always the Sopranos. The series is ending soon but like ROME it’s available on HBO On-Demand and previous seasons are available on DVD. What’s more macho than a bunch of Mafioso cracking heads? Personally, as I’m Italian, I maxed out on Mafia movies with The Godfather: Part III, and I’ve never been a Sopranos fan. I prefer Martin Scorsese’s The Departed. It’s an interesting change of pace to watch the Irish kill themselves rather than the Italians. And it’s still in theaters, so you can get out of the house and not interfere with everyone else watching basketball.

Of course there’s the Fox Network’s 24. Jack Bauer beating the tar out of a terrorist or kneecapping a corrupt US Government official is as manly as you get. It’s only on once a week, but you can find reruns of previous season’s episodes on one or two of the cable channels. Or, like just about every major TV series, you can buy previous season’s episodes on DVD. In past years I’ve gotten hooked on the season opener and stuck with it for a few weeks. After a while, however, 24 tends to get a bit monotonous. Not to worry. You only have to stay interested through March and the end of the NCAA tournament.

If none of these suit your fancy, tune to one of the cable entertainment networks. There are plenty stories about up and coming female sex symbols who want to take Anna Nicole Smith’s place. There’s nothing more manly, albeit politically incorrect these days, than watching a buxom young women strut their stuff for the camera. Frankly, I prefer Marilyn Monroe. She had a lot more class than most of the would-be sex symbols do today, and she could act. Order The Misfits from Netflix. It’s one of her best movies. An older Clark Gable isn’t bad either. Your wife or girlfriend might take time to watch it with you.

Perhaps you’re a political junkie like many of us in Washington, DC. If you are, the race for the 2008 presidential election is in full swing. The first primaries are less than a year away and candidates show up at almost every button on the remote. If you’re gripped by presidential politics, you’re sure to be enthralled by the never-ending verbal slugfest between Democrats and Republicans. Tune into one of the political talk shows for the endless coverage of the scandal of the week.